Fiction

Whatever happened to…


Alan, comic acrobat:

He and all his jokes fell flat.

Barry bought a brand new boat;

Sadly, though, it didn’t float.

Clive went on a climbing trip;

Pity that he lost his grip.

Davey’s dive scored perfect 10;

He never came back up again.

Eileen’s earnest love of gin,

Rum and vodka did her in.

Fran fell to unfriendly fire:

Airgun pellet to the tyre.

Geraldine, green-fingered grower,

Slipped under the ride-on mower.

Harry lived high on the hog

With a far too vicious dog.

Ivan led an island life;

Had some strife with wife with knife.

Jam jar Jim, the motor man,

Caught his tie in engine fan.

Keith and Kev, the mirror twins,

Got run down by wheelie bins.

Lucy looked both left and right;

Missed piano dropped from height.

Molly: culinary folly –

Overheated hostess trolley.

Norman, steadfast, icy-nerved,

Never wavered, should have swerved.

Oonagh’s options soon ran out:

Crashed into a roundabout.

Patrick loved to deep-sea fish;

Ended up a shark’s main dish.

Quentin didn’t see great age:

Quentin went in lion’s cage.

Ray wrote poems – reams and reams;

Wrote his car off too, it seems.

Susan slept on shingly shore;

Tide crept, Sue slept, ever more.

Terry tried the TT races;

Finished them in several places.

Unwin undid every button

In the winter; froze like mutton.

Verity was very strange:

Stood wrong end of rifle range.

Wendy’s waist grew ever fatter:

Made a rather dreadful splatter.

Xander was a deadly shot;

Fast enough though, he was not.

Yannis never heard the yell

Telling him to mind the well.

Household product sniffer Zena:

Polished off by keener cleaner.

Picture source: Les Chatfield