A daring young lady called Holly
Once souped up an old shopping trolley
With turbos and rotors
Plus two massive motors,
And everyone said it was folly.
Though temperatures quickly were dropping,
She revved the thing up and went shopping.
She started all right,
But at a red light
She found she’d no method of stopping.
She sailed into Aldi and Lidl
Whose bargain bays – those down the middle –
Attracted her eye
So she, driving by,
Swiped socket sets, rugs and a griddle.
Ice covered the roads; it was snowing,
And – lacking a brake to aid slowing –
She skidded through Boots,
Grabbed seven Fruit Shoots
And treatment for toenails (ingrowing).
Determined to pinch jeans and frocks,
Food, wine and a big box of chocs,
She slid into Marks’,
Wheels showering sparks,
But only nabbed undies and socks.
For speed there was nothing to match her;
Cops followed but just couldn’t catch her.
She hurtled round Costa
And that’s where they lost her,
This motorised-trolley store-snatcher.
In Dunelm she stocked up on bedding,
And all inhibitions now shedding,
Went into a pub
In search of some grub:
Came out with champagne from a wedding.
On black ice, with all turbos blazing,
She gained a speed truly amazing.
Without any fear
She shot through IKEA
And two firms that sold double-glazing.
Then foolishly sticking her neck out,
She ploughed through a woodyard called ‘Deck Out’:
Hit a stone… clipped some logs…
Rolled the cart… popped her clogs…
Paid the price at the ultimate checkout.